NOvember

I’m tired. As in, I’m-thinking-about-taking-a-nap-before-I-go-to-bed-tonight tired. Nothing bad has caused this. In fact, a lot of good is the culprit. But the result is the same...exhaustion.

Two weeks ago, I sponsored, attended, and presented at the Kansas Conference for Growing Community Foundations.  It’s aways fun to spend time with people who do exactly the same thing that you do.  I love to share ideas and learn from others. Plus, the weather was divine!  But I never sleep well in hotels.  Add in a delay at O’Hare and when this ‘seasoned’ professional got home, I was feelin’ my age!

Then last week, I did what we all do when we’re out of the office for a week—I climbed Mt. Email and attended meetings like it was my job. Unless I’m doing something wrong, meetings always lead to more work, not less. Additionally, there were two evening meetings and an all-day Saturday workshop added to the cold, rainy weather we’re having in Indiana as fall approached full speed.  I know you can feel my pain. All that meeting attendance made Saturday feel like 6^th Monday.

I was even gifted an Alani Nu Witch’s Brew Energy drink to keep my wrinkly brain contributing.  That 200 mg of caffeine worked until it didn’t.  When I crashed, I crashed hard! My body needed rest.

This is why I’m changing things up a bit this year. Where, in year’s past, I’ve declared this new month YESvember to highlight all the things we should say YES to in this month of thanksgiving. But I’ve now gone to the dark side—yes, they do have cookies! I recommend an entire sleeve of Chips Ahoy or a chocolatey row of milks favorite cook, the Oreo. But outside of cookies, I hereby declare November 2023 as NOvember--just say NO.

Although I can’t always say NO to everything or everyone I’d like to, there are times where a YES leaks out of my mouth that should have been a NO.  Long days and weekend work happens occasionally—and sometimes it’s vital.  But more often than not, we say YES when we shouldn’t. Let’s talk about it.

As I met with my regional CoFo peers last week, we were all talking about our end-of-year letters going to print this week.  We have to plan ahead, don’t we?  And it’s common that we look at our donor lists with our left brain and make some decisions.  The Law of Averages might make you think that you need to send out a bulk mailing to 10,000 people who have used the word charity at least once before. After all, if 10% of those people respond, then that would be awesome, right? Why do that when you can just send to those 10% who love you best?

I happen to believe that a massive bulk mailing where you must address your mailing to “Joe Donor or current resident”, simply isn’t good enough.  You make the statement that you don’t really care if Joe Donor ever sees the letter as long as someone with a heartbeat, aka current resident, exists.  You can do better, and you should! 

Say NO to sending mail to donors who don’t have both a current affinity for what you do and the capacity to do something about it.  If they haven’t donated to your cause in the last five years, they don’t make the cut.  Be a good steward of your resources.  Say NO to wasting money on stamps, paper, and envelopes to do your end-of-year mailing to thousands of people who will recycle the communication before it even hits the kitchen counter.  Say NO to disrespecting your amazing donors by telling them that they’re not special.  After all, you’re telling them that ‘or current resident’ would have been good enough!

And if you’re printing and mailing these in-house, just say NO to all that work! It doesn’t pay off.  If you don’t believe me, think about what you do when you check your mail each day.  You’re likely a generous person because you’re in the generosity business.  So, it makes sense that you get appeals from nonprofits all the time. Which ones do you open?  Which ones do you recycle immediately?  Which ones do you read?  Which ones make you want to take action and actually donate? 

And in this month of NOvember, I want you to use your right brain to be creative in taking advantage of some much-needed self-care.

While it’s a high compliment when someone asks you to help, attend a meeting, go to a Zoom webinar, or serve on a committee, you don’t always have to say YES.  In fact, if you think about it, you likely get asked to do lots of things—you’re a go-to person because you get things done!  Thus, why you’re probably just as tired as I am.  However, for every person like us who gets asked to help all the time, there are probably 10 more people who never get asked.  These are leaders in their own right who just aren’t the go-to people…yet.  They would love to get asked to lead, but they just aren’t currently starters; they’re sitting on the leadership bench saying, ‘put me in coach’.  You can be their coach! Your NO can be their YES.

That’s right, you can say NO.  It’s a full sentence!  No.  See what I did there?!  In fact, at a recent capacity-building seminar I attended on time management I learned about the ‘5 0’s’.  They are overwork, overstress, overdependency, overwhelm, and just bring over it. Tell me you haven’t felt one or more of these in the past week. You don’t have to feel this way next week!

Initially, just saying NO as a full sentence will be hard. But saying NO and then suggesting a few other people they could ask to help them out might be a good way to introduce some new leaders into the fold.  These are people that are perfectly capable and want to say YES but wouldn’t get asked if it weren’t for you making the introduction. 

You need to know your limits.  If I’m tired, I know some of you reading this are, too. Never fear, this doesn’t mean that you don’t like your job or that the work you’ve been doing isn’t worthy.  Good work is exhausting, too. 

It’s NOvember, friend. You can and should say NO more often. The charitable field needs passionate people who read nonprofit blogs like you.  Don’t let the ‘5 0’s’ burn you out too soon.  Self-care is your guide. Just say NO.

All My Best,

Dawn
[email protected]
dawn brown creative, llc.